apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
