You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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