So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Randomize
