Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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