She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
