I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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