We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize
