i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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