just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
