my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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