I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
