i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
