Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
