google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
