and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
