Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
