i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
