Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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