walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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