R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
