Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have fence marks all over my body
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
