i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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