North Korea, Best Korea!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
