she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
