I could have mohawked her pubes.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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