he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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