And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
