went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
