I CAN MOONWALK!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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