Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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