I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
