Whats the glycemic index on semen?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
