I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
