I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
