Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
