The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
