does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
