the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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