I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
