It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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