HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
