Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
