Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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