how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
