Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
