they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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