im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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