Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
