Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
