marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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