i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
